5 minute read
What is this?
It's destructive, ball-breaking and a total passion and creativity killer. It can swing your mood from brilliant to victim within a matter of seconds if you let it. Often created externally but driven internally. It has the power to make you feel like a drug addict with high highs and low lows. Addictive and soul-destroying, making you need it when you don't want it! What is it?
Living with self-doubt
Living with self-doubt is a self-imposed prison, that can be absolutely crippling. It has you stand in the background of your life wishing, waiting and hoping for things to be different.
When my beautiful client arrived, she felt defeated. Stressed, pressed, overwhelmed, unfulfilled—mentally and emotionally cluttered in a storyline that felt like Groundhog Day. She HOPED and DREAMED of a plot-twisting miracle that would relieve her from the constant, exhausting slog of trying to 'keep it together'.
Desperately wanting to stop the self-doubt, she didn't realise quite how paralysing the emotional prison she'd built for herself was.
Busting through the glass ceiling
A purpose-driven businesswoman in her late 30s, my client was successful in her own right. Having created a career she loves, she's ready to bust through the glass ceiling and go to the next level.
She had great friends but wanted to deepen connections with them. Most importantly, she wanted to like who she was as a person.
It can be confronting when you know there is something left untapped, unanswered or unresolved. Or it can be the start of an incredible transformation where it provides an opportunity to stop behaviours that no longer serve, support or nurture you to be brilliant now.
My client said:
- I never felt enough. She was exhausted by the constant hustle. Always striving to prove herself but had forgotten what she was trying to validate.
- I want to make a difference to serve a higher purpose but was confused with how to do it.
- Low self-esteem. We drilled down into what I fondly refer to as the 'inner gunk'. Where we discovered one of my client's core issues was not respecting herself, which, ultimately caused her to sabotage the success she deserved.
Although she felt disappointed with her progress so far, she knew today was her opportunity to reflect, release, realign and recharge. To understand and appreciate just how much her self-doubt was driving her decisions and ultimately causing deep inner conflict, unhappiness and deep dissatisfaction. Not to mention feeling powerless, helpless and stuck with no options.
Now on her list was to:
- Produce deep connections with close friendships
- Create space for a loving partner
- Work to achieve a healthy body and a rewarding career
- Feel comfortable in her skin so she can embrace opportunities
- And her deepest desire was to love who she is and what she's up to in the world.
We needed a new internal scriptwriter.
So we set to work. The first thing we did was to sack the current internal scriptwriter. For writing scenes that had her feel jealous, lack confidence, doubt her decisions and act like a victim.
We instated a new scriptwriter on the premise of nurturing self-love. Her new inner dialogue would help her sort through the storylines that empowered while editing those that no longer served her.
She was ready to face the tough questions. My role was to ask them in such a way that had her feel safe to explore the answers.
Living behind the wall of self-doubt
When we pinpointed different beliefs and emotions that consumed her, it was easy to see how they had helped to create a barrier for her to hide behind. She's graciously let me share this photo.
This image represents the wall of self-doubt she was living behind. No wonder she wasn't producing the life she'd love to live.
Each brick in her wall had a negatively charged narrative connected to why it was real for her. Some blocks had multiple stories attached. All powerfully demonstrating the evidence, she needed to feel like she'd failed.
Overcoming adversity in a hot and steamy action-adventure
Without first learning the positive intentions that lay waiting at the root cause of each story, she would never have been free.
Once we identified the trigger points and understood the core message, we were able to change the inner script so she could begin a brand new way of living.
We cried, we laughed, and we let off multiple party poppers as celebration and gratitude for the many breakthroughs and insights.
When I asked her at the beginning of the day what type of movie she felt like she was in, she replied, "it was more like a French tragedy.
Now she wanted to live a more hot and steamy action-adventure. Where she is the heroine overcoming adversity to save herself and positively contribute to the planet, now, that's a significant role to play.
If you're interested in having a blockbuster session on your own, here are some tips:
- Identify what negative labels you use for yourself (these are the bricks that weigh you down and build an impenetrable wall)
- Spotlight the feeling you experience when you believe it to be accurate and the story you run that backs it up
- Get honest with yourself – these projections make you feel bad, so who do you need to become to produce a different ending?
- Write out the list of new attributes, put it in your wallet and devote all of your energy and attention to being that person.
The starring lead in her life of choice
It's amazing what happens to someone when we get the support we need to shine.
Within one day, my client shifted from playing a shitty bit part in a soap opera she no longer wanted to watch. Permitting herself to be the starring lead in her life of choice.
She's also taken on the roles of directing and producing the results she wants rather than being the by-product of circumstance!
And what is super cool, after the day, she left feeling wowed and inspired by her capacity to be brilliant now.
Learn how to get what you want by activating a success mindset