5 minute read
What is this...
It’s destructive, ball breaking and a total passion and creativity killer, it can swing your mood from brilliant to victim within a matter of seconds if you let it. It’s created externally but driven internally. It can make you feel like a drug addict with high highs and low lows. It’s addictive and soul destroying, making you need it when you don’t want it! What is it – it’s self-doubt!
For ways to break down the wall of this self-imposed prison keep reading ‘Living with self-doubt’
Recently, during her VIP Day (a 1:1 Signature Visioning Day with me) my beautiful client wanted to stop the self-doubt and go to the next level but didn’t realise quite how paralysing the emotional prison she’d built for herself was.
A successful businesswoman busting through the glass ceiling.
A businesswoman in her late 30s, she was successful in her own right. She’s created a career she loves although she’s ready to bust through the glass ceiling and go to the next level.
She had great friends who she wanted to deepen connections with and most importantly she wanted to fall in love with who she was as a person.
She knew there was something still left untapped, unanswered or unresolved because she:
- Felt she always needed to prove herself but had forgotten what she was trying to prove.
- Wanted to serve a higher purpose but was confused with how to do it.
- And when we drilled down into what I fondly refer to as the ‘inner gunk’ we discovered one of the core issues was she didn’t respect herself which caused her to sabotage the success she deserved.
This was her opportunity to look at the areas she was most disappointed with. To isolate and appreciate just how much her self-doubt was driving her decisions and ultimately causing deep inner conflict, unhappiness and dissatisfaction. Not to mention feeling powerless, helpless and stuck with no options.
Now on her agenda was to:
- Produce deep connections with close friendships
- Create space for a loving partner
- Work to achieve a healthy body and rewarding career
- Feel comfortable in her own skin so she can embrace opportunities
- And her deepest desire was to love who she is and what she’s up to in the world.
We need a new internal scriptwriter.
So we set to work. The first thing we did was to sack the current internal scriptwriter that was writing the scenes for the lack of confidence, self-doubt, jealousy and victim mindsets she had been experiencing.
We instated a new scriptwriter on the premise of nurturing self-love and began to edit the storylines of what served to empower her and what no longer served her.
She was ready to face the tough questions and my role was to ask them in such a way that she felt safe to explore the answers.
Living behind the wall of self-doubt
When we pinpointed different beliefs and emotions that she felt consumed by it was easy to see how they had created a wall to hide behind. She’s graciously let me share this photo.
This was her wall of self-doubt she was living behind and wondered why she wasn’t producing the life she’d love to live.
Each brick in her wall had a negatively charged story connected to why it was true for her. Some bricks had multiple stories attached, all powerfully demonstrating the evidence she needed to feel like she’d failed.
Hot and heavy action scene overcoming adversity.
Without first learning the positive intentions that lay waiting at the root cause of each story, she would never have been free.
Once we identified the trigger points and understood the core message, we were able to change the inner script so she could begin a brand new way of living.
We cried, we laughed and we let off multiple party poppers as celebration and gratitude for the many breakthroughs and insights.
When I asked her at the beginning of the day what type of movie she felt like she was in, she replied, “it was more like a French tragedy.
Now she wanted to live a more hot and heavy action scene where she is the heroine overcoming adversity to save herself and positively contribute to the planet”. Now that’s a great role to play.
If you’re interested in having a blockbuster session on your own, here are some tips:
- Identify what negative labels you use for yourself (these are your bricks that weigh you down and build an impenetrable wall)
- Spotlight the feeling you experience when you believe it to be true and the story you run that backs it up
- Get honest with yourself – these projections make you feel bad so who do you need to become in order for you to produce a different ending?
- Write out the list of new attributes, put it in your wallet and devote all of your energy and attention to being that person
The starring lead in her life of choice
It’s amazing what happens to someone when we get the support we need to shine.
Within one day, my client shifted from playing a shitty bit part in a soap opera she no longer wanted to watch to become the starring lead in her life of choice.
She’s also taken on the roles of directing and producing the results she actually wants rather than being the by-product of circumstance!
And what is super cool, at the conclusion of the day, she left feeling wowed and inspired by her own capacity to be brilliant now.
Learn how to create a calm state of mind.